Kitchen Town

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During a recent writing session, my senior editor, Tessa, informed me that I will never be a famous writer until my blog features online games for people to play.

Well, I’ll show her. This post releases my new online game. It’s called “Kitchen Town.” The object of the game is to do stuff in your computer kitchen that you would normally do in your real kitchen. The virtue of “Kitchen Town” over your real kitchen is that, in “Kitchen Town,” the stuff is much cuter. Also, the problems are much more romantic. Most of all, the solutions are virtually instantaneous, or they may take up to six minutes. That sounds good enough to me. Let’s begin.

This is my dog. His real name is Alfred, but it’s only a virtual real name. I prefer to call him “dog”, because it’s much cuter than “Alfred”. See how cool “Kitchen Town” is?

This is “cat”. His name is “Miss Hepburn”. I can’t decide whether to call him Audrey or Kate, so, I’ll just call him “cat”. Yes, he’s a boy cat even though he’s legally named after two famous ladies. See how creatively ironic “Kitchen Town” can be?

It’s morning. Time to feed dog and cat.

Oh no! Dog won’t eat his food.

That’s okay. You have a microwave. Dog loves his food when it’s warm.

Cat watches from the top of the microwave. He likes it up there.

Oh, no! Some radiation leaked out of the microwave. Now your cat has ball cancer!

Now you have to fix the radiation leak in the microwave. It’s very simple. Unfortunately, you cannot do this yourself. You have to get some friends to come over and build you a new microwave with a plasma-based containment field.

In the meantime, you can use some of your “Kitchen Town” gold to buy some medical marijuana for your cat. Oh, yes. You qualify for that, now. You must click on the pot plant to redeem your prescription.

Thanks for playing “Kitchen Town.” I’ll see you here all day every day. Don’t worry about carpal tunnel. We’ve got prescriptions for that, too.