A Democrat Made Me Do It

by Fred

I’m voting for Rick Perry if he’s still in the presidential race a year from now. I have to say that, otherwise my family will lynch me for this video. Because they love me. But I really am definitely, probably voting for Perry. Maybe.

I’m not even sure how many of my family even like Sarah Palin anymore. Sarah Palin is something we don’t talk about.

I don’t hate Sarah Palin. Like most men, regardless of party, I love her. I’m not a democrat, but I sleep with one. And this video was her idea. I don’t even remember the band Winger who made this song famous. And I wouldn’t blame the band for getting back together just to come and stomp my ass for what I did to their song.

Perhaps I have taken up this subject a bit late in the game. Sarah Palin is kinda over. But she’s still alive. All the time I’m working on this, I’m thinking, This bitch better not get assassinated before I get this posted.

I used to pray to God that she wouldn’t get in the 2012 race, but now I hope she does, of course. YouTube searches for her would pick up dramatically. Funny how changing your attitude can change your opinion.

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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

Gorilla Bananas

Is she really stupid or merely an ignoramus? That’s what I can’t work out. Nor do I know whether she had a fetish for black men in her college years.

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Fred

Whattaya askin’ me for? I go to your site for real scientific reports.

Lots of data over there at The Japing Ape.

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sheri

Oh, Fred. Lemme tell you, a full 3% of the TEXAN Republicans say they’ll vote for Rick. He is one bad mo-fo, my friend. Anyone would be a vote better spent…even Sarah.

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Fred

I agree in the sense that Sarah would be (mostly) harmless.

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Linda Medrano

If Sarah does decide to run for prez, with just a couple of little modifications, she can use this video. Great stuff! I find Perry likable. I could do without his religious ranting, but I do like the guy.

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Fred

I think that’s the thing I love about Rick. His religious ranting is bullshit– all an act. Christians are useful as hell in an election.

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Fred

Wait! What “modifications”? Bigger tits? Men love regular tits. I thought we covered this last spring on Gorilla’s site. Or something.

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Angie

I used to know who I was voting for, but after nearly 18 years of being allowed to vote for things I realized I get screwed over each time. It seems like we are only voting for the lesser of two evils or playing the ‘who’s the best liar’ game.

I tend to lean toward the liberal side of independence, but when I heard Ron Paul say, “you can’t legislate morality” I decided to vote for him… or the guy who sells pizza.

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Fred

Herman Cain is the Godfather’s Pizza guy. I love that sumbitch. Causing all kinds of trouble. I’m probably, maybe voting for him, too.

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Daisy the Curly Cat

I am sure the title of President of the United States would “shackle” her, so she would have to quit before the end of her term, anyway…

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Fred

The governorship was cutting in to her hunting time.

Damn. Just realized how hard it is to say “cutting into hunting time.” Say it three times real fast.

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TessaLeFae

Still proud of my “God, guns, and gold” symbol. The 3g solution. Guffaw.

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Fred

No shit, people. The M-16 nailed to a cross of gold. Totally Tessa’s idea. As if she’s some American History major specializing in William Jennings Bryan. I’m telling you, this whole thing was her idea. I’m jealous as hell.

She majored in zoology, for fuck’s sake!

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Tina

The M-16 on the cross was the pièce de ré·sis·tance for me. Having said that, when she took the gun down and did a sexy dance with it, I loved it even more, because yeah, she’s just that tasteful. I think it’s swell that Bart took time out of his no doubt very busy schedule to do a cameo in your video, too, Fred. You must be a superstar!

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Fred

I was actually surprised by how good your comment made me feel, Tina. There is a little depression after a big project like this. It took me about thirty hours which was a solid month in my spare time. And now that it’s over, I’m little bummed. That’s why all these comments are so important to me. Thank you.

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Tina

Very happy to be of service, Fred ;) Your comments have really lifted my week, too.

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Tina

P.S. I will be disappointed if she does not run, too. I would not feel that way if I thought she had a snowball’s chance, of course, but I am pretty sure she would not make it into THE office. I nearly severed my finger ranting about her whilst chopping vegetables last election, though, because I was concerned about her becoming V.P. Even as my husband drove me to the hospital for stitches, I was ranting! Then, when it was all over, I realised I missed her. The Katie Couric interview astounded me. Simply astounded me. I think I watched it ten times. The blank look on her face when asked about her reading materials … Ah, priceless. No reader would have to be asked that more than once. I could go on, as we all could, but I will stop there …

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