A Puppy and a Gentleman

by Fred

Charlie and I have at least one thing in common: We are both possessed of our testicles. In order to keep mine, I endeavor to behave better. You know, drink less, be more polite, avoid pissing on the Christmas presents. Things like that.

Charlie is not following my lead. His pissing on the xmas gifts, I understand. I don’t approve, but I understand. It’s his aggression toward the other dogs that I find unsettling. Buddy, the cross-bred lab, will find Charlie swinging from his neck skin until Bud shakes him off. Then Charlie will turn to Toby and start on him.

It got really ugly today when made a dooty on Tessa’s bed while we went to the store. He shouldna did that! Tessa is already making arrangements for his castration. We say “castrate” in this house. There is no neutering. He will still be male. But he will just be less aggressive. And less testicular.

I’ve tried to warn him. I’ve told him that he might not have any offspring if he doesn’t mend his ways. But he’s just a kid. You can’t tell a kid anything. The only thing that seemed to get through was when I told him that I have castrated lots of other mammals. Without anaesthesia. Bet that’s why he didn’t poop on my bed.

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