The Truth About Fiction

This is not a fiction blog. I don’t even consider myself a fiction writer, even though I’ve written four novels. Maybe five. Depends on what you call a novel. If a novel is a book that makes people cry, then I know I’ve written one. It’s titled Who Made You?. Stole the title from an AC/DC song, but it’s not about heavy metal or anything. It’s about incest and war and fucking and babies. It’s my second favorite.

My fiction is all true. Even the incest. I know it’s true because I’m in every book. I’m a doctor addicted to Demerol in one. In another, I’m a black man in prison. A long time ago, I was a gay cop who gets caught by his wife while getting fucked by another guy. It’s a nice, clean gay sex scene. Nothing disgusting and no foodstuffs involved. Just plain man-to-man sex, the way God intended.

My sex scenes are usually short because sex is a stupid thing to write about. You want to read extended sex scenes, read Keats. Endymion is a forty-page wet dream. But it’s about ideal love. Not real love. So, it’s not really fiction.

I feel stupid when I write about sex, so I keep it short. The best way to keep a sex scene short is to make it realistic. This is easy if it’s two guys. It’s harder if there’s a woman involved. The women in fictional sex always make it take forever. You can stop this by making the Christmas tree fall on them or something. That always abbreviates sex.

Don’t worry. I’m not going to try to publish my goddamn books here or try to sell them. Unless a publisher thinks they’re worth selling, I’m not putting anything out there.

The reason I’m writing this is that I intend to start another mp3 library on this site. It’s going to contain real fiction. Good fiction. And it’s going to be read by me. I do this sometimes. Years ago, I recorded The Catcher in the Rye. I’m just going to put that up there. I suppose Salinger’s estate owns the copyright or something, but I’m going to do it anyway. Let them sue me. I’m also going to put up Poe’s “The Raven”. Then I’ll do Of Mice and Men.

Another project is Uncle Tom’s Cabin. The ignorance about that book floored me. Blacks were calling other blacks “Uncle Tom”s a few years back. It was intended to accuse someone of sucking up to whites. Jeezus-apeshit-Christ! Uncle Tom was beaten to death for refusing to follow an order. The order was to beat his fellow slave. There! I just ruined the fucking book for you. If you ever hear some miserable prick call someone an “Uncle Tom”, just tell him that. Anyway, I’ll put UTC up there, eventually, too.

These mp3s will be downloadable and free. I just want to share my favorites with all of you. I won’t be putting up any Shakespeare. I can’t do it. And it’s all available pretty cheap anyway and done by real actors.