Cultural/Literary

We Don’t Say “Retarded” Anymore

January 15, 2012

Now, we say “limited cognitive functioning.” I’m not going to say “intellectual disability.” You don’t get Aristotle and Aquinas jammed down your throat as much as we did and let someone get away with “intellectual disability.” Not without a fight. Still. Might as well face it. I’m fucking retarded. I’m watching Captain America. Got no [...]

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The Truth About Fiction

January 11, 2012

This is not a fiction blog. I don’t even consider myself a fiction writer, even though I’ve written four novels. Maybe five. Depends on what you call a novel. If a novel is a book that makes people cry, then I know I’ve written one. It’s titled Who Made You?. Stole the title from an [...]

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Sarah Palin’s Picks for the GOP Nomination in 2012

January 9, 2012

If your friends need you, and you haven’t posted your scheduled article for the day, please screw the article. You’re the boss. That’s what we did yesterday. A friend was under the weather, so we went over there and Tessa offered comfort while I did housework. Absolutely, totally worth it. I was animating a cartoon [...]

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Mitt Romney’s Religion

January 1, 2012

This is not a political site. It is a site that uses the accomplishments of others to promote itself. During this election season, I intend to exploit the names and accomplishments of whomever seems to be a good search engine topic. This means that presidential candidates will be showing up pretty often for a while. [...]

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Xmas: Gone in 43 Seconds

December 28, 2011

Neither Tessa nor I are ones to leave the tree up until March as is the tradition in some families. Inertia is the cause of most traditions like that. And just like launching a space ship or anything else, overcoming inertia requires a chemical fusion bomb. Me? I’m that bomb. I start steaming and smoking [...]

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Election Season’s Greetings

December 25, 2011

I know I said that I would never dilute Mike Judge’s characters again. But the dawning of the presidential primary season is no time for dwelling on past indiscretions. And besides, Ron Paul looks a lot like Beavis. How can I resist when I already had Beavis drawn and dressed in a suit and tie? [...]

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Ask Uncle Fred

December 21, 2011

It’s time to lauch a new feature on The Fred Effect. This is the first installment of the “Ask Uncle Fred” series. I am the perfect person to write this series because I am not a father. A real father will never be honest with a difficult question from his child. Kid goes, “Am I [...]

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Piece on Earth

December 18, 2011

For years, when we drove Sean to his elementary school, we drove past a salvage yard. There was a white Oldsmobile right along the fence with orange spray paint reading “PEACE OF SHIT.” It never failed to remind me of the wisdom of Confucius: “Man who lay on ground with woman get piece on earth.” [...]

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