Medical

What is Humor?

August 31, 2011

I don’t really know what humor is. All I know is that my favorite episode of “American Dad” is when they bought a race horse to make money, and they thought they had to jack it off every day. Then the horse developed mental problems because it was being molested, and it couldn’t race any [...]

Click for entire column

“I Hate You So Much, Right Now!”

August 17, 2011

The adverbial phrase, right now, covers a multitude of sins. I invoke it fairly often. Like when some friend sends me that e-mail that says verse 9:11 in the Qur’an contains some cryptic message about how the U.S. was prophesied to kick nine colors of shit out of the children of Mohammed or something. That’s [...]

Click for entire column

How Love Evolved

August 3, 2011

Yesterday, on facebook, I asked my friends to kindly slap the shit out of me. I had my first five responses in less than a minute. Click here to download a free audio recording of this post. Donna asked whether she could slap me by proxy in today’s musings. It’s the least I can do. [...]

Click for entire column

Fred Miller is a Big, Fat Queer

July 13, 2011

Ain’t nothing more refreshing than sticking your face in the downspout runoff from a July thunderstorm when your eyes are stinging with sweat. Not even Sierra Mist. Click here to download a free audio recording of this post. I’d like to find out whether losing thirty more pounds would be more refreshing. I’ve lost ten, [...]

Click for entire column

Get Rich Sitting on your Ass

June 15, 2011

Just got an e-mail this morning that says that I, too, can make a living as a copywriter. I have received this same e-mail 1,467 times over the last four years. I have even read it. Twice. It should read, “You can make six figures writing spam.” Yep. They give you your own spam software [...]

Click for entire column

Cell Phone Cancer and Anal Fissures

June 5, 2011

It’s official. Cell phones cause cancer again. At least, if you watch NBC Nightly News and the Today Show, they do. I don’t know whether other networks carried this recent news. I have a thing for Anne Curry in the mornings, and Tessa has a thing for Brian Williams in the evenings. So we never [...]

Click for entire column

Love Your Fungus, part 2

May 25, 2011

If anyone has noticed the “Medical” category in my category menu under the banner of my site, I just want to say that there is little or no medical information in there. Except today. I usually file something under “Medical” if it’s medically funny. But today, I must clear up something I said about skin [...]

Click for entire column

High-Tech Choking Hazard

May 18, 2011

I’m getting stupider. For instance, I think that Qaḏḏāfī looks cool in his sunglasses. I can’t help it. He looks awesome. And the robes! He looks like the Old Testament got some bling. Sumbitch knows people dig his look, too. He knows Americans were raised on religion– so he tries to look like Abraham with [...]

Click for entire column

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →

I post only once a week or so, so you won't be flooded with daily posts from me.

W.O.W. Button!

Click the image above for the featured
Website of the Week

This is just a YouTube channel. Her site is listed as her Twitter page. It's all she needs, really.

Click the image above for free mp3s of
The Fred Effect Archives ! ! !