Pets

Sarah Palin’s Picks for the GOP Nomination in 2012

January 9, 2012

If your friends need you, and you haven’t posted your scheduled article for the day, please screw the article. You’re the boss. That’s what we did yesterday. A friend was under the weather, so we went over there and Tessa offered comfort while I did housework. Absolutely, totally worth it. I was animating a cartoon [...]

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Never Kill your Dog in Anger

January 4, 2012

Charlie has been chewing up iPod ear buds at the rate of about three pair per week. Tessa has ordered a new six-pack of ear buds that is being delivered by a lame panda from south China, so they haven’t arrived yet. That is why Charlie had to attack my awesome JVC headphones that I [...]

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A Puppy and a Gentleman

December 14, 2011

Charlie and I have at least one thing in common: We are both possessed of our testicles. In order to keep mine, I endeavor to behave better. You know, drink less, be more polite, avoid pissing on the Christmas presents. Things like that. Charlie is not following my lead. His pissing on the xmas gifts, [...]

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Hope this dog cost some jerk a lot of money

November 27, 2011

A few years ago, I pulled a drain clog out of the pipe between the kitchen and the laundry. It looked kind of like my brother’s teacup poodle, Gigi. I knew Tessa would want to adopt it, so I threw it out before she could see. Later, she said, “What did you do with the [...]

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Doggy Apocalypse

November 20, 2011

Tessa reported first thing this morning that Gorbachev, the cat, slept with her all night– something that hasn’t happened in months. Because it’s my job to explain every occurrence, I pronounced that she is seeking comfort and shelter from the Doggy Apocalypse. Our house is currently occupied by seven dogs. Obviously, Gorbachev counted the dogs [...]

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“Damn, I’m Cute!”

September 14, 2011

I sleep with a lady who collects dogs. I’m allergic to dogs. Had to pay 400 smackers for the skin test, so I’ve got proof. Of course, this woman and I love each other, so we compromise: I take antihistamines. And sweat. And kick them off the bed after Tessa goes to sleep. And I [...]

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Burp and Taste it!

September 4, 2011

Some of us were a little shaken up by my post this past Wednesday. I know I was. Nellie Oleson giving a horse the old knuckle shuffle grossed me out a little. That’s why today I am posting something about children. Today’s cartoon could possibly restore our faith that innocence and beauty still exist in [...]

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What is Humor?

August 31, 2011

I don’t really know what humor is. All I know is that my favorite episode of “American Dad” is when they bought a race horse to make money, and they thought they had to jack it off every day. Then the horse developed mental problems because it was being molested, and it couldn’t race any [...]

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