Pets

“I Hate You So Much, Right Now!”

August 17, 2011

The adverbial phrase, right now, covers a multitude of sins. I invoke it fairly often. Like when some friend sends me that e-mail that says verse 9:11 in the Qur’an contains some cryptic message about how the U.S. was prophesied to kick nine colors of shit out of the children of Mohammed or something. That’s [...]

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The Reluctant Cat is Back and Not Happy About It

August 7, 2011

It is definitely time for another animated cartoon conceived and produced right here in The Fred Effect studios. Yes, there are more than one studio. There is the drawing studio, and then there are at least three sound stages if you include the bathroom where I recorded half of these sound effects. I had to [...]

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“He Kindly Stopped for Me”

June 26, 2011

Tessa turned forty last year. She is old enough to know that any dog you allow into your life will someday break your heart. Doesn’t stop her though. She’ll put her brand on any critter that stands still long enough. And they always earn their keep, imprinting on her power chair like baby ducklings. And [...]

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In the Thrall of Tessa Le Fae

May 22, 2011

This past Wednesday, I wrote about my neurosis that I can’t be away from Tessa. I think it’s contagious. I got it from Sunny. Sunny is Tessa’s golden retriever. Click here to download a free audio recording of this post. Tessa was about two seconds pregnant with Sean fourteen years ago when somebody dropped a [...]

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Carpe the damn diem, dammit!

April 20, 2011

The more you write, the more you find stuff to write about. That’s when you start to feel like Keats, “When I have fears that I may cease to be, Before my pen has gleaned my teeming brain. . . .” etc., etc. This is when you start to realize that there isn’t enough time [...]

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Lent Over Yet?

March 30, 2011

Is this Lent thing about over, yet? I had a boiled egg on burnt toast this morning, just to join in the misery. I hate being left out. I gave up alcohol and porn for Lent which means that I feel guilty every time I open a beer or watch porn. It’s making me a [...]

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What Would Your Cow Do for a Klondike Bar?

March 20, 2011

My friend Linda who writes The Good, The Bad, The Worse posted an entry last week about the Bedouins in Saudi Arabia who transport their favorite camels in their cars. Some of her friends said it was bullshit because camels won’t get in cars. The hell they won’t. Why wouldn’t they? Just to back up [...]

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The Dogs are Ganging Up on Me

February 16, 2011

You know how dogs seem to have a sixth sense about some things even though they aren’t very bright? Tessa had a dog once that always reacted in a peculiar way to cancer patients. My friend DJ had a dog that could respond to his Tourette’s syndrome ticks. Well, three of our dogs have detected [...]

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