And now, at this particular point in time, I would like to take this opportunity to point out a point that is important to the style of the writing that you do.
And n Now, at this particular point in time, I would like to take this opportunity to point out a point that is important to the will make a point about style of the writing that you do.
Notice the difference in the two sentences above. With the editing marks taken out, the correct sentence reads better.
Now, I will make a point about style.
It is still boring, but at least it’s shorter.
Conciseness is really just a matter of practice. Take the quiz below to practice being concise.
Conciseness Quiz
Choose the answer which makes the sentence most concise while retaining the intended meaning.
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Your answers are highlighted below.
Question 1
Sally spread the map out on the table where she liked to read
maps.
A
on the table where she sometimes read maps
B
on the table where she happened to like to read maps
C
one the table where she read maps occasionally
D
on the table
Question 2
Her partner Fred pointed at the map to The Rat's hideout where
The Rat was hiding.
A
the place where The Rat's hideout was
B
the place where The Rat was hiding
C
The Rat's hideout
D
the place where The Rat's hideout was where The Rat was hiding
Question 3
Sally buckled her shoulder holster over her shoulder and
winked at Fred.
A
shoulder holster that held her gun
B
shoulder holster
C
shoulder holster that held her gun over her shoulder
D
shoulder holster that held her gun under her arm
Question 4
Fred took the last slug of tequila from a bottle and threw the empty bottle into the fireplace.
A
from a bottle and threw the empty bottle
B
and threw the empty bottle
C
of tequila and threw the empty bottle
D
and threw it
Question 5
They ran out the door and out into the yard and jumped in the jeep that was parked in the driveway.
A
out into the jeep
B
out and jumped in the jeep
C
out into the yard and jumped in the jeep
D
out and jumped in the jeep that was parked in the driveway
Question 6
Fred thought how nice it was to have a partner who was a woman of the opposite sex.
A
who was of the opposite sex
B
who happened to be of the opposite sex
C
who was a woman who happened to be of the opposite sex
D
of the opposite sex
Question 7
Sally thought Fred was old and pudgy and a little overweight but still kind of cute.
A
old but still kind of cute
B
old and a little overweight but still kind of cute
C
old and pudgy but still kind of cute
D
kind of cute
Hint:
This omits two separate details.
Question 8
Outside The Rat's hideout, Sally slammed on the brakes and stopped the jeep spilling Fred's beer down his shirt.
A
slammed on the brakes spilling Fred's beer
B
slammed on the brakes spilling
C
slammed hard on the brakes and stopped the jeep with a jerk spilling Fred's beer
D
slammed hard on the brakes spilling Fred's beer
Question 9
Sally ran up to the window and tossed a tear gas grenade through the window into the house.
A
tossed a tear gas grenade into the house
B
tossed a tear gas grenade
C
tossed a grenade
Hint:
What kind of grenade?
D
tossed a grenade into the house.
Hint:
What kind of grenade?
Question 10
Fred kicked open the door and burped a belch so loud that The Tallahassee Rat fell over backward and died of a concussion .
A
and burped a belch so loud that The Tallahassee Rat fell over backward
B
and burped a belch so loud that The Tallahassee Rat died of a concussion
C
and burped so loud that The Tallahassee Rat died of a concussion
Hint:
This omits how the concussion happened.
D
and burped so loud that The Tallahassee Rat fell over backward and died of a concussion
Once you are finished, click the button below. Any items you have not completed will be marked incorrect.
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